The Rush Cutter's Legacy by Sara Alexi

Author:Sara Alexi [Alexi, Sara]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Oneiro
Published: 2015-11-03T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter 20

How on earth had such a thing happened? At first she had been nervous, and he had reassured her again and again. He said he was being so careful. And he was being careful. Even on those later occasions when she was ready to throw caution to the wind he had been steadfast. So how could it happen? An accident, a slim chance? Why had she thought she was immune to such an event? Because it felt so right? Because they were engaged? What on earth had possessed her to take any risk at all, no matter how remote? But she knew the answer to that, too. She had allowed the risk because Spiros possessed her. He had noticed her, made her real, made her feel beautiful, desirable. Someone as handsome as Spiros had lifted her out of her own perception of herself and made her feel that she was so much more than she really was!

But what she had actually become was less. Now she was a stupid young girl, pregnant out of wedlock.

She checked the calendar again. Maybe she was wrong, had miscalculated. But the brief hope was extinguished before it took a firm hold.

Back in her village, everyone knew what sort of girl got pregnant before marriage. She had known from quite a young age. Her own mama was always quick to tell people when they first met that her husband had died – an explanation for Vasso's existence, in case her faded widow’s weeds were not enough to bestow respectability.

And yet here was Vasso, a decent woman, daughter of a decent woman, unmarried and pregnant. And, therefore, no longer respectable.

Her head dropped into her hands and the tears that had been threatening all morning burst from her in big wailing sobs. She held her hand over her mouth but the truth was she did not care who heard. Wailing and crying were so much less a public offence than her real crime.

'Oh God in heaven, have mercy on me,' she called, but in that moment she felt there was no God. If there was and he was fair he would not have allowed her to become pregnant. If there was a God, he had deserted her – and maybe she deserved that. No maybe about it! Had she not been taught that it was not God’s law?

She wailed anew and sank to her knees.

'Please, please, God, let this not be true. Let me be wrong. Let this not be happening. Please find a way to take this away.' And a dreadful thought came to her that was surely even worse than an unmarried pregnancy. Was there a way? Would it be such a sin, so early on?

She shook her head and the tears did not stop. She might be the sort of person who could become pregnant before she was married, but she would not become a murderer – because, according to what the Church had taught her, that was what it would be. 'Isn't

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